With the advancement in healthcare and technology people now

IELTS Band 9 Essay About With the advancement in healthcare and technology people now

Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “With the advancement in healthcare and technology people now”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS samples released in April 2025.

Sample Essay (Band9)

With the advancement in healthcare and technology, people now have a longer lifespan. Some argue that the retirement age which is normally 60 to 65 years of age should be adjusted to 70 years or even higher.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

With significant advancements in healthcare and technology, human life expectancy has increased considerably, prompting some to suggest that the retirement age should be raised to 70 or beyond. While this proposal may offer certain economic and social benefits, I believe it must be approached with caution, taking into account the physical and emotional well-being of the elderly population.

One strong argument in favor of increasing the retirement age is the financial sustainability of pension systems. As people live longer, governments face growing pressure to support a larger retired population for an extended period. By extending the working age, more people remain economically active, which can help alleviate the financial burden on national welfare programs. Additionally, older employees bring valuable experience and institutional knowledge, which can enhance workplace productivity and mentor younger generations.

Moreover, many individuals today remain physically and mentally fit well into their seventies due to improved healthcare and better lifestyles. Continuing to work may provide them with a sense of purpose, structure, and social engagement that contributes positively to mental health. For some, retirement may lead to feelings of isolation or a loss of identity, so remaining employed could offer psychological benefits.

However, it is important to recognize that not all professions or individuals are equally suited for prolonged employment. Jobs that require physical labor may become too demanding for older workers, potentially putting their health at risk. Furthermore, a uniform increase in the retirement age could disproportionately affect those in lower-income or high-stress occupations who may not have the luxury of working in comfortable environments.

In my opinion, while raising the retirement age is a reasonable response to demographic changes, it should not be applied universally. A more flexible, individualized approach—one that considers the nature of the job and the employee’s health—would be more equitable and effective. Encouraging part-time roles, consultancy work, or phased retirement options could strike a balance between economic demands and personal well-being.

Academic Vocabulary in the sample for With the advancement in healthcare and technology people now

1. Advancement /ədˈvɑːnsmənt/
   Technological advancements have revolutionized the way we communicate.

2. Financial sustainability /faɪˈnænʃəl ˌsʌsteɪnəˈbɪləti/
   Raising taxes is one method to ensure financial sustainability of public pensions.

3. Alleviate /əˈliːvieɪt/
   Better planning can alleviate pressure on healthcare services.

4. Purpose /ˈpɜːpəs/
   Volunteering can provide elderly individuals with a renewed sense of purpose.

5. Equitable /ˈɛkwɪtəbəl/
   An equitable system ensures fairness regardless of income or background.

Example Sentences

1. Advancement

   • The rapid advancement in AI has transformed multiple industries.

2. Financial sustainability

   • Public health systems require reforms to ensure financial sustainability over the long term.

3. Alleviate

   • Flexible working hours may help alleviate stress among employees.

4. Purpose

   • Engaging in meaningful work gives people a strong sense of purpose.

5. Equitable

   • Education should be equally equitable for both rural and urban students.

Advanced Grammar Structures

1. Complex Sentences with Subordinate Clauses

   • “While this proposal may offer certain economic and social benefits, I believe it must be approached with caution…”
     ➤ Helps express nuanced opinions and contrast ideas clearly.

2. Passive Voice

   • “Jobs that require physical labor may become too demanding…”
     ➤ Adds formality and shifts focus to the action or issue rather than the person.

3. Relative Clauses

   • “…older employees bring valuable experience and institutional knowledge, which can enhance workplace productivity.”
     ➤ Adds precision and connects ideas smoothly.

4. Modal Verbs

   • “This trend could help alleviate the financial burden…”
     ➤ Used for cautious predictions and suggesting possibilities.

5. Conditional Sentences

   • “If retirement age is increased without flexibility, it may lead to inequality and health issues.”
     ➤ Highlights hypothetical scenarios and their consequences.

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