IELTS Band 9 Essay About many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.
Short Explanation about Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas
The migration of young people from rural areas to cities has become a global trend due to better educational and employment opportunities in urban areas. Rural regions often lack high-quality universities and diverse job options, pushing ambitious individuals to relocate. However, this shift creates both challenges and benefits. While urban migration can foster personal and professional growth, it can also lead to overcrowded cities and the neglect of rural communities. Striking a balance between urban and rural development is crucial to mitigate the negative effects. This essay explores the causes of this trend and evaluates its advantages and disadvantages.
Band 9 Sample Answer
Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities.
What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the migration of young people from rural areas to urban centers, driven by the pursuit of better educational and career opportunities. While this trend has both positive and negative implications, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
One of the primary reasons for this phenomenon is the disparity between rural and urban areas in terms of resources and infrastructure. Cities offer superior educational institutions, advanced healthcare facilities, and a broader spectrum of job opportunities compared to rural regions. For instance, students in urban areas have access to specialized universities and cutting-edge research facilities, which are often absent in rural settings. Furthermore, cities attract multinational companies, offering young professionals the chance to build lucrative careers.
However, this migration comes with its challenges. Urban areas face overpopulation, leading to issues such as housing shortages, increased traffic congestion, and environmental degradation. Meanwhile, rural communities suffer from a depletion of young talent, which hinders local development and exacerbates socio-economic inequalities. For example, the lack of skilled professionals in agriculture or rural healthcare can have detrimental effects on these communities.
Despite these drawbacks, the advantages are more compelling. Urban migration fosters personal and professional growth, enabling individuals to acquire skills, broaden their horizons, and contribute to society on a larger scale. Moreover, the remittances sent by these migrants to their families in rural areas can help uplift those communities economically. Governments can further mitigate the negative effects by implementing sustainable policies, such as improving rural infrastructure and promoting remote work opportunities.
In conclusion, the migration of young people from rural to urban areas is primarily driven by the quest for better opportunities. While this trend poses challenges for both urban and rural regions, its benefits—such as enhanced personal development and economic growth—far outweigh the disadvantages. By adopting balanced development strategies, governments can ensure that both urban and rural communities thrive, fostering a more equitable society.
Total = 320 Words
Academic Words in sample for Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas(5 Examples)
- Disparity
- /dɪˈspærəti/
- Sentence: The economic disparity between urban and rural areas is a key factor driving migration.
- Depletion
- /dɪˈpliːʃən/
- Sentence: The continuous migration of young people has resulted in the depletion of skilled workers in rural communities.
- Sustainable
- /səˈsteɪnəbl/
- Sentence: Governments must focus on sustainable development to address urban overcrowding and rural neglect.
- Overpopulation
- /ˌoʊvərˌpɑːpjəˈleɪʃn/
- Sentence: Overpopulation in cities often leads to increased pressure on housing and public services.
- Balanced
- /ˈbælənst/
- Sentence: A balanced approach to development can minimize socio-economic disparities.
Advanced Grammar Structures (5 Examples)
- Complex Sentences
- Example: “While this trend has both positive and negative implications, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.”
- Impact: Demonstrates the writer’s ability to present contrasting ideas effectively, adding depth to the argument.
- Passive Voice
- Example: “Urban areas face overpopulation, leading to issues such as housing shortages, increased traffic congestion, and environmental degradation.”
- Impact: Focuses on the effects of overpopulation rather than the cause, maintaining an objective tone.
- Relative Clauses
- Example: “Students in urban areas have access to specialized universities and cutting-edge research facilities, which are often absent in rural settings.”
- Impact: Adds additional information without breaking the flow, improving coherence.
- Modal Verbs
- Example: “Governments can further mitigate the negative effects by implementing sustainable policies.”
- Impact: Indicates possibility and recommendations, enhancing the persuasiveness of the argument.
- Parallel Structures
- Example: “Urban areas face overpopulation, leading to issues such as housing shortages, increased traffic congestion, and environmental degradation.”
- Impact: Creates a rhythm and balance in the sentence, making the points easier to understand.
Format and Band 9 Features
- Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses the question, discussing both the reasons and the advantages/disadvantages of migration comprehensively.
- Coherence and Cohesion: Logical transitions and paragraph structure ensure a seamless flow of ideas.
- Lexical Resource: High-level vocabulary is used naturally, with precise terms relevant to the topic.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Advanced grammar is employed effectively, with no errors.
- Formal Tone: The response maintains an academic tone throughout, appropriate for IELTS Writing Task 2.
This essay exemplifies a Band 9 response, balancing strong content with refined language and structure.
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