IELTS Band 9 Essay About Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic devices.
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic devices.”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in 2025.
Sample Essay (Band 9)
Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic devices. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games.
Do you agree or disagree?
The increasing reliance of children on computers and electronic devices has sparked a debate about its impact on their development. While some argue that technology is essential for modern education, I firmly believe that encouraging children to spend more time outside playing sports and games is beneficial for their physical, mental, and social well-being.
One of the primary reasons for reducing screen time is the detrimental effect of excessive device use on children’s health. Prolonged periods of sitting and staring at screens can lead to obesity, poor posture, and eye strain. For example, studies have shown that children who spend more than two hours a day on electronic devices are more likely to develop health issues such as diabetes and cardiovascular problems. In contrast, outdoor activities like playing sports promote physical fitness, improve motor skills, and strengthen the immune system. Encouraging children to engage in such activities can help combat the growing epidemic of childhood obesity.
Another significant concern is the impact of technology on children’s mental health and social skills. Excessive use of electronic devices can lead to addiction, anxiety, and social isolation. Children who spend most of their time on screens may struggle to develop meaningful relationships or communicate effectively in real-life situations. On the other hand, outdoor games and team sports foster teamwork, communication, and problem-solving skills. For instance, playing soccer or basketball teaches children how to collaborate, resolve conflicts, and build friendships, which are essential life skills.
Moreover, spending time outdoors allows children to connect with nature and develop a sense of curiosity and creativity. Activities like hiking, cycling, or simply playing in the park encourage exploration and imagination, which are often stifled by the passive consumption of digital content. For example, a child who builds a treehouse or explores a forest learns to think critically and solve problems independently, skills that are invaluable in adulthood.
In conclusion, while computers and electronic devices have their place in modern education, they should not replace the irreplaceable benefits of outdoor activities. Encouraging children to spend more time outside playing sports and games not only improves their physical health but also enhances their mental and social development. Parents and educators should strive to strike a balance between screen time and outdoor play, ensuring that children grow into well-rounded and healthy individuals.
Academic Vocabulary Words in the sample for Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic devices.
- Beneficial (/ˌbɛnɪˈfɪʃəl/)
- Example: Regular exercise is beneficial for maintaining both physical and mental health.
- Meaning: Resulting in good; favorable or advantageous.
- Detrimental (/ˌdɛtrɪˈmɛntəl/)
- Example: Pollution has a detrimental effect on marine life.
- Meaning: Causing harm or damage.
- Epidemic (/ˌɛpɪˈdɛmɪk/)
- Example: The epidemic of obesity is a major public health concern.
- Meaning: A widespread occurrence of a particular phenomenon.
- Addiction (/əˈdɪkʃən/)
- Example: Social media platforms are designed to be addictive, keeping users engaged for long periods.
- Meaning: The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity.
- Invaluable (/ɪnˈvæljuəbəl/)
- Example: The experience gained from traveling is invaluable.
- Meaning: Extremely useful or valuable.
Advanced Grammar Structures and Their Contribution to a Higher Band Score
- Conditional Sentences (Second Conditional):
- Example: “If children spent more time outdoors, they would develop stronger social skills.”
- Contribution: Demonstrates the ability to discuss hypothetical situations, which is a marker of advanced language proficiency.
- Passive Voice:
- Example: “Outdoor activities should be encouraged to promote physical fitness.”
- Contribution: Shifts focus to the action rather than the subject, adding variety and sophistication to the writing.
- Relative Clauses:
- Example: “Children who engage in outdoor games often develop better problem-solving skills.”
- Contribution: Adds complexity to sentences and provides additional information without breaking the flow.
- Cleft Sentences:
- Example: “What children need is more time spent outdoors playing and exploring.”
- Contribution: Emphasizes specific parts of the sentence, making the argument more persuasive and nuanced.
- Inversion for Emphasis:
- Example: “Not only does outdoor play improve physical health, but it also enhances mental well-being.”
- Contribution: Adds a formal tone and highlights key points, which is essential for achieving a higher band score.
Format and Features of a Band 9 Essay
- Clear Introduction: The introduction presents the topic and the writer’s opinion in a concise manner.
- Coherent Paragraphs: Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, supported by examples and explanations.
- Academic Vocabulary: The use of advanced and varied vocabulary enhances the quality of the essay.
- Complex Grammar Structures: The inclusion of advanced grammar structures demonstrates a high level of language proficiency.
- Strong Conclusion: The conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the writer’s opinion effectively.
By adhering to these features, the essay achieves clarity, coherence, and sophistication, contributing to a Band 9 score.
Free IELTS Sample Essays with Answers PDF
Here you can download over a 1000 sample essays in pdf written by former ielts examiners: PDF 1 / PDF 2 / PDF 3 / PDF 4 / PDF 5
Last But Not Least!
We suggest a useful IELTS website in English for more valuable IELTS sample essays on a range of topics. Our final suggestion is our writing free correction Telegram channel where you can send your own sample for evaluation and correction by an experience IELTS tutor with over a decade of practical experience in this matter.
