Better if whole family involved in child’s upbringing

IELTS Band 9 Essay About better if whole family involved in child’s upbringing

Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “better if whole family involved in child’s upbringing”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.

Brief Explanation about better if whole family involved in child’s upbringing

The involvement of extended family members, such as aunts, uncles, and grandparents, in a child’s upbringing is often considered beneficial for the child’s development. While some argue that parental guidance is sufficient, others believe that a broader family network offers additional support, guidance, and different perspectives. The influence of aunts, uncles, and other relatives can contribute to the child’s emotional well-being, provide diverse role models, and foster stronger family bonds. However, there is also the risk of conflicting parenting styles, which can create confusion for the child. This essay will explore both sides of the argument.

Band 9 Sample Answer

It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and so on are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many cultures, the concept of an extended family plays a significant role in raising children. Some believe that the involvement of not only parents but also aunts, uncles, and other relatives can provide a more well-rounded upbringing. I tend to agree with this viewpoint, as extended family members offer valuable support and diverse perspectives, although challenges may arise when parenting styles conflict.

One of the primary benefits of having extended family members actively involved in a child’s upbringing is the additional support they provide. Parents often face challenges in balancing work, personal life, and child-rearing, and having aunts, uncles, or grandparents nearby can alleviate some of these pressures. For instance, they can offer assistance with childcare or provide emotional support, giving parents a much-needed break. Moreover, extended family members can impart valuable wisdom and guidance. Grandparents, for example, often have more life experience, and their advice can be beneficial in teaching children important values and traditions that may not be emphasized by parents alone.

Another advantage of involving extended family is the diversity of role models it offers. Each family member brings a unique perspective, and children benefit from learning various approaches to problem-solving, conflict resolution, and emotional expression. A child who is raised with influence from both parents and extended family members is likely to develop a broader understanding of the world and cultivate better social skills. For example, an aunt might provide a different viewpoint on education, while an uncle may offer insight into handling peer pressure. These varied influences can help a child become more adaptable and resilient.

However, there are some potential drawbacks to involving extended family members too much in a child’s upbringing. Different parenting styles can lead to confusion, as children might receive mixed signals about acceptable behavior. For instance, if a grandparent spoils the child while the parents enforce strict rules, the child could struggle to understand boundaries. Furthermore, the involvement of too many relatives can lead to a lack of consistency, which is crucial for a child’s development.

In conclusion, while there are potential challenges, I believe the involvement of extended family in a child’s upbringing offers significant benefits, including additional support, guidance, and diverse perspectives. To maximize these advantages, however, it is essential that all family members are on the same page regarding parenting styles and expectations.

Academic Words in the sample better if whole family involved in child’s upbringing(5 Examples)

1. Primary
   • /ˈpraɪməri/
   • Sentence: The primary benefit of involving extended family is the additional support they provide.
2. Advantage
   • /ədˈvɑːntɪdʒ/
   • Sentence: An advantage of having extended family involved is the diversity of role models it provides.
3. Potential
   • /pəˈtɛnʃəl/
   • Sentence: There are some potential drawbacks to having too many relatives involved in child-rearing.
4. Involvement
   • /ɪnˈvɒlvmənt/
   • Sentence: The involvement of extended family members can help provide additional emotional support.
5. Consistent
   • /kənˈsɪstənt/
   • Sentence: It is important to maintain a consistent approach to discipline, which can be challenging with too many influences.

Advanced Grammar Structures (5 Examples)

1. Relative Clauses
   • Example: “Grandparents, for example, often have more life experience, and their advice can be beneficial in teaching children important values and traditions.”
   • Impact: Adds detail and complexity to sentences, improving coherence.
2. Conditional Sentences
   • Example: “To maximize these advantages, however, it is essential that all family members are on the same page regarding parenting styles and expectations.”
   • Impact: Shows cause and effect, which helps in presenting a well-reasoned argument.
3. Complex Sentences
   • Example: “While some believe that parental guidance is sufficient, others argue that a broader family network offers additional support, guidance, and different perspectives.”
   • Impact: Allows for the expression of nuanced ideas and contrasting views.
4. Modal Verbs for Suggestion
   • Example: “To maximize these advantages, however, it is essential that all family members are on the same page.”
   • Impact: Helps in expressing recommendations or advice, contributing to the academic tone.
5. Use of Linking Words
   • Example: “Moreover, extended family members can impart valuable wisdom and guidance.”
   • Impact: Facilitates logical flow and cohesion between ideas.

Format and Band 9 Features

1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses both parts of the prompt and provides a balanced discussion with clear reasoning and examples.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay flows logically, with each paragraph building upon the previous one, and effective use of linking words.
3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is varied and precise, demonstrating a strong command of academic language.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The use of complex sentence structures, modals, and passive voice showcases advanced grammar skills.
5. Formal Tone: The tone remains professional and analytical throughout, which is appropriate for an IELTS Band 9 essay.

This response meets all the criteria for a Band 9, including task achievement, language variety, and effective argumentation.

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