IELTS Band 9 Essay About position of women has changed a great deal
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “The position of women has changed a great deal in many”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in 2025.
Sample Answer (Band 9)
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over the last fifty years, the position of women in many societies has improved significantly. Women now enjoy greater access to education, professional opportunities, and political representation. However, despite these advancements, I agree that full gender equality has not been achieved, as various forms of inequality persist in different areas. This essay will explore these persistent issues and argue why societies cannot yet claim to be fully equal.
One of the primary reasons why gender equality remains incomplete is the underrepresentation of women in leadership roles. Although women now participate in the workforce in large numbers, they are still underrepresented in top positions across both the public and private sectors. For example, only a small percentage of Fortune 500 companies have female CEOs, highlighting the glass ceiling that continues to hinder women’s career progression. This disparity can be attributed to both structural barriers and traditional gender norms, which often discourage women from pursuing high-level roles.
Furthermore, the burden of unpaid domestic work remains a significant obstacle to achieving true equality. Even in dual-income households, women typically bear a disproportionate share of household chores and childcare responsibilities. This inequitable division of labor limits their professional advancement and contributes to a work-life imbalance that their male counterparts rarely experience. Although some progress has been made in shifting societal expectations, deeply rooted cultural attitudes continue to perpetuate these inequalities.
In addition, societal biases and gender stereotypes remain deeply entrenched. Women often face discrimination in male-dominated fields, where their competence is questioned, and their contributions are undervalued. Such implicit bias not only affects their career prospects but also undermines their self-confidence, creating further barriers to equality. Addressing these biases requires comprehensive efforts in education and workplace policies to foster a more inclusive environment.
In conclusion, although women’s status in society has improved dramatically over the past five decades, gender equality remains an unfulfilled goal due to persistent disparities in leadership representation, domestic responsibilities, and societal attitudes. Therefore, while significant progress has been made, it is clear that societies still have a long way to go in achieving true equality.
Academic Words in the sample for The position of women has changed a great deal
- Gender equality (/ˈdʒɛndər ɪˈkwɒləti/)
Sentence: Achieving gender equality requires systemic changes in both legislation and social attitudes. - Underrepresentation (/ˌʌndərˌrɛprɪzɛnˈteɪʃən/)
Sentence: The underrepresentation of women in politics remains a concern in many developed countries. - Glass ceiling (/ɡlæs ˈsiːlɪŋ/)
Sentence: Many women in corporate environments face a glass ceiling that prevents them from reaching senior management positions. - Inequitable (/ɪnˈɛkwɪtəbəl/)
Sentence: The inequitable distribution of resources in education disproportionately affects marginalized communities. - Implicit bias (/ɪmˈplɪsɪt ˈbaɪəs/)
Sentence: Training programs aimed at reducing implicit bias can help create fairer hiring practices in organizations.
Advanced Grammatical Structures:
- Complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions
Example: “Although women now participate in the workforce in large numbers, they are still underrepresented in top positions across both the public and private sectors.”
Why it helps: Complex sentences demonstrate the writer’s ability to link ideas logically, improving coherence and cohesion. - Use of noun phrases
Example: “This disparity can be attributed to both structural barriers and traditional gender norms.”
Why it helps: Using noun phrases condenses information and adds formality, enhancing lexical resource and precision. - Passive voice
Example: “This disparity can be attributed to both structural barriers and traditional gender norms.”
Why it helps: The passive voice emphasizes the issue rather than the agent, adding objectivity and a formal tone. - Conditional sentences
Example: “Addressing these biases requires comprehensive efforts in education and workplace policies to foster a more inclusive environment.”
Why it helps: Conditional sentences introduce potential solutions and hypothetical outcomes, which enhance critical thinking and argument development. Parallel structures
Example: “Persistent disparities in leadership representation, domestic responsibilities, and societal attitudes.”
Why it helps: Parallel structures improve the clarity and rhythm of writing, contributing to a well-organized and coherent response.
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