IELTS Band 9 Essay About
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 150 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.
Brief Explanation about success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes
Some nations prioritize achieving international sporting success by investing in specialized facilities for elite athletes rather than constructing public sports amenities. Proponents argue that this approach boosts national pride and prestige by cultivating world-class competitors. However, critics believe it marginalizes the broader population, limiting opportunities for public participation in physical activities. While specialized training centers can produce outstanding results at global competitions, their exclusivity may contribute to growing health disparities within society. Balancing elite-focused initiatives with accessible facilities for all is crucial to ensuring both international recognition and a healthier, more active general population.
Sample Band 9 Essay
Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use.
Is it a positive or negative development?
In the pursuit of international sporting success, some countries prioritize the construction of specialized facilities to train elite athletes over providing sports amenities accessible to the general public. This strategy sparks debate over its long-term implications. While it has undeniable advantages, the drawbacks cannot be overlooked.
On the positive side, specialized facilities significantly enhance the training environment for elite athletes, enabling them to compete at the highest levels. Such investments often lead to exemplary performances on the global stage, fostering national pride and enhancing a country’s international reputation. For instance, nations like China and the United States have developed state-of-the-art training centers that consistently produce Olympic champions. Furthermore, the success of elite athletes can inspire young individuals to pursue sports as a career, potentially creating a ripple effect in sports development.
However, the exclusivity of these facilities raises concerns about social inequality. When resources are diverted solely to elite training, the general population may lack access to adequate sports amenities, which are vital for promoting public health and well-being. Regular participation in physical activities reduces the risk of lifestyle-related illnesses such as obesity and diabetes. Neglecting public sports infrastructure could exacerbate health disparities, leading to long-term societal costs. Additionally, focusing exclusively on elite athletes might create a perception that sports are only for the privileged few, undermining community engagement.
In my opinion, while specialized facilities contribute to international success, they should not come at the expense of public access to sports. A balanced approach is necessary, wherein governments allocate resources for both elite training and public sports infrastructure. For example, community centers with affordable access to professional coaching could bridge the gap, ensuring broad participation while nurturing talent.
In conclusion, building specialized facilities for elite athletes is a double-edged sword. Although it enhances international competitiveness and inspires national pride, it risks neglecting the health and inclusivity of the broader population. Governments should adopt a balanced strategy to achieve international recognition without compromising public well-being.
Academic Vocabulary in the sample of success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes
- Exemplary /ɪɡˈzɛmpləri/
Sentence: Her exemplary behavior set a high standard for her peers. - State-of-the-art /ˌsteɪt əv ði ˈɑːt/
Sentence: The laboratory is equipped with state-of-the-art technology. - Lifestyle-related illnesses /ˈlaɪfstaɪl rɪˈleɪtɪd ˈɪlnəsɪz/
Sentence: Lifestyle-related illnesses like diabetes are increasingly common in urban areas. - Ripple effect /ˈrɪpl ɪˈfɛkt/
Sentence: The policy change created a ripple effect across the entire organization. - Inclusivity /ˌɪnkluːˈsɪvəti/
Sentence: Inclusivity in education ensures that all students feel valued and supported.
Advanced Grammar Structures
- Complex Sentences
Example: “While it has undeniable advantages, the drawbacks cannot be overlooked.”
Complex sentences effectively compare contrasting ideas, adding depth to arguments. - Passive Voice
Example: “Such investments often lead to exemplary performances on the global stage.”
Passive voice emphasizes the outcomes rather than the subject, ensuring a formal tone. - Relative Clauses
Example: “Nations like China and the United States have developed state-of-the-art training centers that consistently produce Olympic champions.”
Relative clauses provide additional information succinctly, improving sentence structure. - Conditional Sentences
Example: “If governments allocate resources for both elite training and public sports infrastructure, it could bridge the gap.”
Conditional sentences present hypothetical solutions, showcasing analytical thinking. - Nominalization
Example: “The exclusivity of these facilities raises concerns about social inequality.”
Nominalization adds formality and conciseness, typical of academic writing.
Format and Band 9 Features
- Clear Structure
The essay adheres to a four-paragraph format: introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the topic. - Sophisticated Vocabulary
A range of academic terms (e.g., exemplary, ripple effect) demonstrates lexical flexibility and precision. - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay employs diverse structures, such as complex sentences, passive voice, and nominalization, ensuring grammatical sophistication. - Cohesion and Coherence
Logical transitions (e.g., “However,” “In conclusion”) ensure seamless progression between ideas. - Task Achievement
The essay fully answers the prompt, presenting balanced arguments and providing specific examples. The opinion is clearly articulated, fulfilling the task requirements.
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