IELTS Band 9 Essay About Sport is becoming a business
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Sport is becoming a business” and how more and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.
Short Explanation about sport is becoming a business
The commercialization of sports, driven by increasing corporate involvement in sporting events, is a phenomenon with both positive and negative implications. On the one hand, corporate sponsorship enhances financial support, allowing athletes and teams to improve performance and infrastructure. It also boosts global visibility for sports through advanced marketing strategies. On the other hand, excessive commercialization can undermine the spirit of sportsmanship by prioritizing profits over the essence of competition. The focus may shift from athletic achievement to corporate interests, potentially alienating fans. Thus, while the trend has merits, it must be managed carefully to balance financial growth with sports’ intrinsic values.
Sample Band 9 Answer for sport is becoming a business
Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you thing that is a positive or negative development?
The increasing commercialization of sports, characterized by the involvement of corporate entities in sporting events, has sparked considerable debate. While this trend offers significant advantages, it also raises concerns about the potential erosion of traditional sporting values. I believe that the overall impact of this development depends on how it is managed and balanced.
One of the most prominent benefits of corporate involvement in sports is the financial support it provides. Sponsorships and investments enable the construction of advanced facilities, improved training programs, and the organization of large-scale tournaments. These developments not only enhance the performance of athletes but also raise the profile of sports on an international scale. For instance, the involvement of global brands in events like the FIFA World Cup or the Olympics ensures widespread media coverage and engagement, attracting diverse audiences. Additionally, commercialization generates substantial revenue streams, creating employment opportunities in areas such as event management, marketing, and broadcasting.
However, the commodification of sports also has its drawbacks. One major concern is that excessive focus on profits can detract from the intrinsic value of sports, which lies in fostering teamwork, discipline, and fair competition. When corporate interests dominate, decisions may prioritize commercial gains over ethical considerations or the welfare of athletes. For example, scheduling multiple matches to maximize advertising revenue can lead to player fatigue and compromised performance. Furthermore, the over-commercialization of sports can alienate traditional fans, who may perceive the emphasis on branding and sponsorships as undermining the authenticity of the games they cherish.
To address these challenges, a balanced approach is essential. Regulatory frameworks should be established to ensure that corporate involvement aligns with the fundamental principles of sportsmanship. For instance, governing bodies could limit the extent of advertising during events and prioritize athlete welfare in scheduling decisions. Moreover, promoting community-based initiatives sponsored by companies can help maintain the cultural significance of sports while leveraging commercial support.
In conclusion, while the commercialization of sports brings undeniable benefits in terms of financial growth and global visibility, it also poses risks to the spirit of the game. By implementing measures that balance commercial interests with ethical considerations, we can ensure that sports continue to inspire and unite people across the world.
Total = 300 Words
Selected Academic Vocabulary with Pronunciation and Example Sentences
- Prominent /ˈprɒmɪnənt/
Example: Prominent athletes often attract significant sponsorship deals, boosting their financial stability. - Performance /pəˈfɔːməns/
Example: Advanced training facilities have significantly improved the performance of professional teams. - Commodification /kəˌmɒdɪfɪˈkeɪʃən/
Example: The commodification of sports often shifts the focus from skill to profit. - Intrinsic /ɪnˈtrɪnzɪk/
Example: The intrinsic value of sports lies in promoting fair competition and teamwork. - Balanced /ˈbælənst/
Example: A balanced approach to commercialization ensures the preservation of sports’ integrity.
Advanced Grammar Structures
- Complex Sentences with Subordinating Conjunctions
Example: “While this trend offers significant advantages, it also raises concerns about the potential erosion of traditional sporting values.”
This structure introduces contrast effectively, adding depth to the argument. - Passive Voice
Example: “Sponsorships and investments enable the construction of advanced facilities…”
Passive constructions maintain a formal tone and emphasize the actions. - Relative Clauses
Example: “The intrinsic value of sports, which lies in fostering teamwork, discipline, and fair competition, should not be overlooked.”
Relative clauses add precision and richness to sentences. - Modal Verbs for Suggestions and Necessity
Example: “Regulatory frameworks should be established to ensure that corporate involvement aligns with the fundamental principles of sportsmanship.”
Modal verbs effectively propose recommendations in formal writing. - Cohesive Devices
Example: “Furthermore, the over-commercialization of sports can alienate traditional fans…”
Linking words ensure smooth transitions and logical flow between ideas.
Explanation of the Writing Format and Key Features
- Introduction with a Clear Thesis Statement
The introduction outlines the debate, states the writer’s position, and provides a framework for the essay. - Structured Body Paragraphs
Each paragraph starts with a topic sentence and develops ideas with examples, explanations, and evaluations, ensuring clarity and cohesion. - Balanced Argumentation
The essay evaluates both the benefits and drawbacks of commercialization, reflecting critical thinking and fairness. - Formal Tone and Advanced Vocabulary
The essay uses sophisticated language and grammar to articulate ideas clearly and effectively, meeting Band 9 lexical and grammatical criteria. - Conclusion with a Balanced Perspective
The conclusion synthesizes the arguments and suggests actionable solutions, leaving a strong impression.
This response adheres to IELTS Band 9 descriptors by addressing the task effectively, organizing ideas logically, and using precise language and complex grammar accurately.
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