IELTS Band 9 Essay About Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS samples released in April 2025.
Sample Essay (Band 9)
Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage.
Whether children should be involved in paid employment has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that engaging in work from a young age can instill discipline and provide valuable life experience, while others believe it may disrupt a child’s development and education. Although both perspectives have merit, I believe that the disadvantages of paid work for children significantly outweigh the advantages.
On the one hand, working while still in school may offer children a sense of responsibility and an early understanding of financial management. By earning money, they can learn to budget, save, and appreciate the value of hard work. Additionally, some part-time jobs can help young people acquire transferable skills such as communication, time management, and problem-solving, which may enhance their future employability. These practical benefits are often cited as justification for allowing teenagers to work during their free time.
However, there are several compelling reasons why paid work can be detrimental to a child’s well-being. Firstly, employment may interfere with academic performance, as it reduces the time and energy available for studying. In many cases, students who work long hours after school suffer from fatigue, which undermines their ability to concentrate in class and keep up with assignments. Moreover, working in environments not tailored to children may expose them to exploitation, stress, or even physical danger. From a psychological perspective, placing financial pressure on children at a young age may also have negative effects on their self-esteem and emotional development.
In my opinion, the risks associated with child labor, even in its mildest forms, are too significant to ignore. While gaining some work experience can be useful, it should be strictly regulated and limited to ensure that it does not interfere with a child’s primary responsibility—education. The focus during these formative years should be on academic and personal development, not on economic contribution.
In conclusion, although part-time work can provide young people with certain life skills, the potential harm it may cause to their academic success and emotional health is far greater. Therefore, I believe that the drawbacks of paid work for children outweigh the benefits in most cases.
📚 5 Academic Vocabulary Items in the sample for Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work
- Detrimental /ˌdet.rɪˈmen.təl/
Sentence: Too much screen time can be detrimental to a child’s sleep and attention span. - Responsibility /rɪˌspɒn.sɪˈbɪl.ə.ti/
Sentence: Giving children household tasks teaches them responsibility from an early age. - Transferable skills /trænsˈfɜː.rə.bəl skɪlz/
Sentence: Volunteering helps you build transferable skills useful in any job. - Fatigue /fəˈtiːɡ/
Sentence: Continuous overwork can lead to mental and physical fatigue. - Drawbacks /ˈdrɔː.bæks/
Sentence: One of the major drawbacks of social media is its potential to reduce face-to-face interaction.
🧠 5 Advanced Grammar Structures
- Complex Conditional Sentence
Example: “If not strictly regulated, child labour may interfere with academic success.”
➤ Shows ability to hypothesize and adds depth to analysis. - Passive Voice
Example: “…may be exposed to exploitation…”
➤ Emphasizes the action’s impact while maintaining an objective tone. - Causative Structures
Example: “…which may enhance their future employability.”
➤ Expresses consequence elegantly, improving coherence. - Relative Clauses
Example: “…jobs which help young people acquire transferable skills…”
➤ Adds detail clearly and fluently without repetition. - Balanced Comparative Structure
Example: “Although part-time work can provide life skills, the potential harm is far greater.”
➤ Effective for weighing both sides of an argument and showing a strong conclusion.
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