IELTS Band 9 Essay Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in 2025.
Sample Essay (Band 9)
Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Juvenile delinquency is a pressing issue in modern society, raising the question of whether children who commit crimes should face punishment or if their parents should bear the responsibility. While some argue that minors must be held accountable for their actions to deter future offenses, others contend that parental negligence is often a significant factor in such behavior and should therefore be penalized. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own view.
On the one hand, proponents of punishing juvenile offenders believe that imposing legal repercussions on young criminals is essential for maintaining societal order. They argue that if children are aware of the consequences of their actions, they will be less likely to engage in criminal behavior. Furthermore, accountability fosters a sense of responsibility, which is crucial for their moral and ethical development. For instance, in countries where strict juvenile justice systems exist, crime rates among young people tend to be lower, suggesting that such measures are efficacious in preventing youth crime.
On the other hand, some people assert that punishing parents is a more appropriate response, as they play a pivotal role in shaping their children’s behavior. Poor parenting, including neglect, lack of supervision, or exposure to violent environments, is often linked to delinquent tendencies. If parents were held culpable, they would be more inclined to instill discipline and ethical values in their children. Moreover, some argue that children, due to their immature cognitive development, lack the ability to fully comprehend the gravity of their actions. Thus, penalizing them might be unjust and counterproductive.
In my opinion, while children should be held responsible for their actions to some extent, parental accountability cannot be overlooked. A balanced approach should be adopted, where minors receive rehabilitation-focused consequences while parents of repeat offenders face legal penalties for failing to provide proper guidance. Such a strategy would ensure that justice is served while addressing the root causes of juvenile delinquency.
5 Academic Words in the sample for Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished
Delinquency /dɪˈlɪŋkwənsi/
- Juvenile delinquency is often linked to socioeconomic factors.
Accountable /əˈkaʊntəbl/
- Government officials must be accountable for their decisions.
Legal repercussions /ˈliːɡl ˌriːpərˈkʌʃənz/
- The company faced severe legal repercussions for violating environmental laws.
Efficacious /ˌɛfɪˈkeɪʃəs/
- The new policy proved to be highly efficacious in reducing crime rates.
Culpable /ˈkʌlpəbl/
- The driver was found culpable for the accident due to reckless behavior.
5 Advanced Grammar Structures and How They Enhance the Essay
Complex Sentences with Subordinate Clauses
- Example: While some argue that minors must be held accountable for their actions to deter future offenses, others contend that parental negligence is often a significant factor in such behavior and should therefore be penalized.
- This enhances coherence and demonstrates grammatical range.
Passive Voice
- Example: If parents were held culpable, they would be more inclined to instill discipline and ethical values in their children.
- Using passive structures makes the argument more formal and objective.
Relative Clauses
- Example: A balanced approach should be adopted, where minors receive rehabilitation-focused consequences while parents of repeat offenders face legal penalties.
- This improves sentence variety and clarity.
Conditional Sentences (Second & Mixed Conditionals)
- Example: If children were aware of the consequences of their actions, they would be less likely to engage in criminal behavior.
- This structure adds sophistication and helps express hypothetical situations clearly.
Nominalization
- Example: Juvenile delinquency is a pressing issue in modern society, raising the question of whether children who commit crimes should face punishment.
- Using noun phrases instead of verbs makes the writing more formal and academic.
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