IELTS Band 9 Essay About people eat too much junk food

Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “People eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.

General Explanation about people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health

Excessive consumption of junk food has become a significant concern, with scientists warning about its detrimental effects on public health. While some argue that educating individuals about the risks of unhealthy eating can resolve this issue, others contend that education alone is insufficient due to ingrained habits and environmental factors. Education can raise awareness, fostering informed choices about diet. However, accessibility to healthier options, advertising, and societal norms also play substantial roles in food preferences. To effectively address the problem, a multi-faceted approach, including education, regulation, and promotion of healthy alternatives, is essential for achieving long-term change.

Band 9 Sample Answer

Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The widespread consumption of junk food is a pressing issue that has profound implications for public health. While some advocate for education as the primary solution, others argue that it is insufficient on its own. Both perspectives warrant examination before determining the most effective approach.

Proponents of education believe that raising awareness is the cornerstone of combating unhealthy eating habits. By informing individuals about the detrimental effects of junk food, such as obesity and heart disease, people are more likely to make conscious dietary choices. Educational initiatives in schools, public campaigns, and nutritional labeling on packaging empower individuals with the knowledge to prioritize their health. Furthermore, education has a ripple effect, influencing future generations by instilling healthy habits early on. However, critics argue that awareness does not always translate into behavioral change, especially when external factors such as affordability and convenience of junk food persist.

Conversely, those who view education as insufficient point to the broader environmental and societal factors that perpetuate poor eating habits. Junk food is often aggressively marketed, particularly to children, making it challenging to resist even for informed consumers. Additionally, in many urban areas, access to affordable and nutritious food is limited, a phenomenon known as “food deserts.” In such cases, education alone cannot overcome structural barriers that make unhealthy eating the default choice. Advocates of this perspective emphasize the need for comprehensive measures, including taxation on junk food, subsidies for healthy alternatives, and stricter advertising regulations.

In my opinion, while education is an essential component of addressing this issue, it is not a standalone solution. A multi-faceted approach is required, one that combines education with systemic interventions. For instance, educating individuals about nutrition should be complemented by policies that make healthier options more accessible and affordable. Governments and organizations must also address the influence of marketing by imposing stricter regulations on advertisements targeting vulnerable populations.

In conclusion, while education plays a pivotal role in raising awareness about the dangers of junk food, it must be reinforced by structural changes to create an environment that supports healthier choices. Only by integrating these strategies can society effectively tackle the growing epidemic of junk food consumption.

Selected Academic Words and Pronunciation about people eat too much junk food

1. Detrimental (/ˌdɛtrɪˈmɛntl/)
   • Sentence: Smoking has a detrimental impact on overall health.
2. Nutritional (/njuːˈtrɪʃənl/)
   • Sentence: The nutritional value of fresh fruits makes them a better choice than processed snacks.
3. Perpetuate (/pəˈpɛtʃueɪt/)
   • Sentence: Subsidizing unhealthy food choices may perpetuate poor dietary habits.
4. Subsidies (/ˈsʌb.sɪ.diz/)
   • Sentence: Governments often provide subsidies to promote agricultural production.
5. Epidemic (/ˌɛpɪˈdɛmɪk/)
   • Sentence: Obesity has become a global epidemic, affecting millions worldwide.

5 Advanced Grammar Structures and Their Contribution

1. Complex Sentences with Subordination
   • Example: “While some advocate for education as the primary solution, others argue that it is insufficient on its own.”
   • Benefit: Highlights contrasting perspectives effectively, adding depth to the discussion.
2. Nominalization
   • Example: “The widespread consumption of junk food is a pressing issue…”
   • Benefit: Creates a formal tone and adds academic precision to the argument.
3. Conditional Sentences
   • Example: “If healthier options are not made more affordable, education alone will not suffice.”
   • Benefit: Demonstrates analytical thinking by exploring cause-and-effect relationships.
4. Passive Voice
   • Example: “Junk food is often aggressively marketed, particularly to children.”
   • Benefit: Places emphasis on the issue rather than the agent, maintaining an academic tone.
5. Parallelism
   • Example: “Taxation on junk food, subsidies for healthy alternatives, and stricter advertising regulations…”
   • Benefit: Enhances readability and emphasizes key points equally.

Writing Format and Achieving Band 9

1. Clear Structure:
   • The essay includes an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion with a clear opinion.
2. Balanced Argumentation:
   • Both perspectives are thoroughly analyzed with evidence, ensuring task achievement.
3. Lexical Resource:
   • Academic vocabulary like “detrimental,” “perpetuate,” and “subsidies” demonstrates a wide range of lexical proficiency.
4. Grammatical Range:
   • Advanced structures, such as conditional sentences and nominalization, contribute to a sophisticated tone.
5. Cohesion and Coherence:
   • Logical progression with cohesive devices, such as “conversely” and “in conclusion,” ensures clarity and fluency.

By adhering to these principles, this essay exemplifies the qualities required for a Band 9 response.

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