IELTS Band 9 Essay About In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in 2025.
Sample Answer (Band 9)
In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
In numerous countries, adolescents face a significant shortage of leisure time due to the immense academic pressure imposed upon them. This phenomenon stems from various socioeconomic and educational factors, which can, however, be mitigated through well-thought-out interventions.
One primary cause of this issue is the intensified competition in educational institutions. In an era where higher education and job opportunities are becoming increasingly competitive, students are compelled to devote excessive time to their studies. Schools, parents, and society at large often equate academic excellence with future success, thereby fostering an environment in which students feel obligated to prioritize their studies over personal well-being. Additionally, in certain societies, the education system relies heavily on rote memorization and standardized testing, further exacerbating stress and limiting opportunities for recreational activities.
Another contributing factor is parental and societal expectations. Many parents, driven by the desire for their children to secure prestigious careers, enforce rigorous study schedules. This approach, while well-intentioned, often results in detrimental effects on mental health, including anxiety and burnout. Furthermore, technological advancements have blurred the boundaries between study and relaxation. With online learning platforms and educational applications, students are under constant pressure to engage with their coursework, even outside school hours.
To address this issue, several measures can be implemented. First, educational institutions should adopt a more holistic approach by incorporating extracurricular activities and mental health support into their curricula. Countries such as Finland, where emphasis is placed on balanced learning, demonstrate how reducing academic pressure can yield better overall cognitive development. Second, parents need to be educated on the importance of a balanced lifestyle. Awareness campaigns highlighting the adverse effects of excessive academic pressure could encourage parents to adopt more realistic expectations for their children.
Lastly, governments should reform educational policies by integrating flexible learning models that allow students to engage in creative and physical activities alongside their studies. By fostering an environment that values both academic achievement and personal well-being, societies can cultivate well-rounded individuals who are not only intellectually proficient but also emotionally resilient.
In conclusion, the overwhelming academic burden on young individuals is a result of societal expectations, educational structures, and technological influences. However, through institutional, parental, and governmental interventions, this challenge can be alleviated, ensuring that students lead healthier, more balanced lives.
5 Academic Words in the sample for In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies
Academic /ˌækəˈdɛmɪk/
- Many students struggle with academic pressure, leading to anxiety and stress.
Socioeconomic /ˌsoʊsioʊˌiːkəˈnɑːmɪk/
- Socioeconomic factors play a crucial role in determining access to quality education.
Holistic /hoʊˈlɪstɪk/
- A holistic approach to education focuses on both intellectual and emotional well-being.
Cognitive /ˈkɒɡnɪtɪv/
- Engaging in creative activities enhances cognitive development among students.
Detrimental /ˌdɛtrɪˈmɛntl/
- Excessive academic pressure can have a detrimental impact on students’ mental health.
5 Advanced Grammar Structures and How They Enhance the Essay
Complex Sentences with Relative Clauses
- Example: “Countries such as Finland, where emphasis is placed on balanced learning, demonstrate how reducing academic pressure can yield better overall cognitive development.”
- Why it helps: This structure enhances clarity and cohesion by linking ideas effectively.
Passive Voice
- Example: “This phenomenon stems from various socioeconomic and educational factors, which can, however, be mitigated through well-thought-out interventions.“
- Why it helps: The passive voice adds formality and focuses on the issue rather than the subject performing the action.
Cleft Sentences for Emphasis
- Example: “It is societal expectations that exert the most pressure on young individuals.”
- Why it helps: Cleft sentences emphasize key points, making the argument more persuasive.
Parallelism
- Example: “By fostering an environment that values both academic achievement and personal well-being, societies can cultivate well-rounded individuals who are not only intellectually proficient but also emotionally resilient.”
- Why it helps: This structure enhances fluency and readability, making the essay more engaging.
Conditional Sentences
- Example: “If educational institutions adopt a more holistic approach, students will benefit from improved mental health and well-being.”
- Why it helps: Using conditionals makes the argument logical and forward-looking, a key trait of high-scoring essays.
Free IELTS Sample Essays with Answers PDF
Here you can download over a 1000 sample essays in pdf written by former ielts examiners: PDF 1 / PDF 2 / PDF 3 / PDF 4 / PDF 5
Last But Not Least!
We suggest a useful IELTS website in English for more valuable IELTS sample essays on a range of topics. Our final suggestion is our writing free correction Telegram channel where you can send your own sample for evaluation and correction by an experience IELTS tutor with over a decade of practical experience in this matter.
