IELTS Band 9 Essay About increase in wealth and Satisfaction
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “additional increase in economic wealth” in rich countries and if this change can actually create more satisfaction among citizens. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.
IELTS Band 9 Essay About additional increase in economic wealth
Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied.
To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is often argued that once a nation has achieved a certain level of prosperity, further economic growth has diminishing returns on individual contentment. I firmly agree with this assertion, as evidence suggests that factors beyond wealth contribute significantly to overall well-being and that relentless pursuit of economic gains can create societal disparities.
To begin with, research demonstrates that happiness and satisfaction levels tend to plateau in affluent societies despite sustained economic growth. This phenomenon is often referred to as the Easterlin Paradox, which posits that while income increases happiness up to a basic threshold, subsequent increments fail to produce a proportional rise in satisfaction. For instance, once individuals have access to necessities such as housing, healthcare, and education, non-material factors like social connections, mental health, and personal fulfillment play a more pivotal role. Therefore, prioritizing these elements over further wealth accumulation can have a more profound impact on citizens’ quality of life.
Moreover, excessive emphasis on economic expansion can exacerbate social inequalities and environmental degradation, thereby undermining national cohesion. In wealthy nations, wealth tends to concentrate among a small percentage of the population, leading to disparities that breed discontent and social unrest. Furthermore, unregulated industrialization in pursuit of profits often causes ecological damage, which negatively affects public health and future generations. Thus, it is clear that placing an undue focus on GDP growth is neither sustainable nor beneficial for long-term societal satisfaction.
Finally, the pursuit of alternative indicators of development can provide a more holistic measure of societal progress. Nations like Bhutan, for instance, have adopted the Gross National Happiness index, which evaluates progress based on psychological well-being, cultural preservation, and environmental sustainability. Such approaches recognize that the true wealth of a nation lies not solely in its economic achievements but in the overall quality of life of its citizens.
In conclusion, while economic growth undoubtedly plays a crucial role in lifting people out of poverty, its ability to enhance happiness diminishes significantly in wealthier nations. Policymakers should therefore adopt a balanced approach that prioritizes non-material aspects of life to foster genuine contentment and sustainable development.
Selected Academic Vocabulary in above sample on additional increase in economic wealth
- Prosperity /prɒˈspɛrɪti/
Example: The prosperity of a nation is often judged by its citizens’ access to basic amenities. - Contentment /kənˈtɛntmənt/
Example: True contentment arises from meaningful relationships rather than material possessions. - Well-being /ˈwɛlˌbiːɪŋ/
Example: Governments should invest in programs that enhance the well-being of their citizens. - Disparities /dɪsˈpærɪtiːz/
Example: Economic disparities can lead to widespread dissatisfaction within society. - Sustainable /səˈsteɪnəbl/
Example: Sustainable policies are essential for maintaining environmental health.
Advanced Grammar Structures in the sample additional increase in economic wealth
- Complex Sentences with Subordinating Conjunctions
Example: “Once individuals have access to necessities such as housing, healthcare, and education, non-material factors play a more pivotal role.”
This structure improves coherence by connecting ideas logically. - Passive Voice
Example: “This phenomenon is often referred to as the Easterlin Paradox.”
Passive constructions add variety to sentence structures and maintain a formal tone. - Noun Phrases for Emphasis
Example: “The pursuit of alternative indicators of development can provide a more holistic measure of societal progress.”
Using expanded noun phrases enhances clarity and precision in academic writing. - Conditional Clauses
Example: “If governments focus solely on GDP, they risk neglecting citizens’ non-material needs.”
Conditional sentences present hypothetical scenarios effectively, enriching the argument. - Cohesive Devices
Example: “Moreover, excessive emphasis on economic expansion can exacerbate social inequalities.”
Transition words improve flow and signal connections between ideas.
Explanation of the Writing Format and Key Features
- Introduction with a Clear Thesis Statement
The introduction provides a direct response to the question, setting a clear argumentative tone. - Body Paragraphs with Topic Sentences
Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, ensuring logical progression. - Use of Examples and Evidence
The response integrates research (e.g., the Easterlin Paradox) and real-world examples (e.g., Bhutan) to substantiate claims. - Formal Tone and Academic Language
The essay maintains a formal tone through the use of advanced vocabulary and complex grammatical structures. Balanced Conclusion
The conclusion synthesizes the argument, reinforcing the thesis while offering a nuanced perspective on sustainable development.
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