Children’s behavior should be strictly controlled

IELTS Band 9 Essay About children’s behavior should be strictly controlled

Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Children’s behavior should be strictly controlled”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.

Introduction to children’s behavior should be strictly controlled

The debate over whether children’s behavior should be strictly controlled or whether they should be allowed the freedom to explore has garnered significant attention. Advocates of strict control argue that rules ensure discipline, respect, and the development of responsible adults. Conversely, proponents of a more relaxed approach emphasize the importance of creativity, independence, and self-discovery. Each perspective has its merits and drawbacks, as strict control may stifle innovation while unregulated freedom could lead to behavioral issues. Striking a balance is crucial, as fostering both discipline and individuality prepares children for diverse challenges in life.

Sample Band 9 Answer

Some parents and teachers agree that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. However, others believe that children should be allowed to experiment freely.

Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages.

Parenting and teaching philosophies often diverge on whether children’s behavior should be strictly regulated or if they should be permitted to experiment freely. Both approaches have distinct merits and limitations, necessitating a careful balance to nurture well-rounded individuals.

On the one hand, strict control over children’s actions can instill discipline, responsibility, and respect for authority. This structure is particularly advantageous in formative years when children require guidance to understand societal norms. For instance, adhering to schedules or following rules in school fosters a sense of accountability, which is vital in academic and professional settings. Moreover, strict regulation can help prevent dangerous behavior, such as experimenting with harmful substances or engaging in activities beyond their maturity. However, this approach may inadvertently suppress creativity and autonomy. Children raised in overly controlled environments might struggle to think independently or handle unstructured challenges, which are crucial skills in a rapidly evolving world.

Conversely, allowing children the freedom to explore encourages innovation, critical thinking, and self-reliance. For example, children who engage in creative activities or pursue hobbies independently often develop problem-solving skills and a sense of curiosity. This freedom enables them to learn from mistakes and build resilience. Nevertheless, excessive freedom without guidance can lead to poor decision-making or neglect of essential responsibilities. Children, by nature, lack the foresight to evaluate long-term consequences, making them susceptible to risky behavior if left unchecked.

A hybrid approach, integrating control and freedom, offers the most effective solution. Parents and teachers should set boundaries while providing opportunities for exploration within safe limits. For instance, involving children in decision-making processes can foster independence while ensuring they remain within a structured framework. This balance allows them to cultivate discipline and creativity simultaneously, preparing them to adapt to varied circumstances in adulthood.

In conclusion, while strict control and free experimentation have their own advantages and drawbacks, neither approach is wholly sufficient on its own. By combining the strengths of both, caregivers can ensure the holistic development of children, equipping them with the skills and qualities needed for a fulfilling and responsible life.

Selected Academic Words

1. Regulated
   Pronunciation: /ˈreɡ.jə.leɪ.tɪd/
   Sentence: Industrial processes must be carefully regulated to ensure safety and efficiency.
2. Merits
   Pronunciation: /ˈmer.ɪts/
   Sentence: The proposal has several merits that outweigh its drawbacks.
3. Creativity
   Pronunciation: /ˌkriː.eɪˈtɪv.ə.ti/
   Sentence: Creativity is a valuable skill in both artistic and technical fields.
4. Guidance
   Pronunciation: /ˈɡaɪ.dəns/
   Sentence: With proper guidance, students can achieve remarkable academic success.
5. Resilience
   Pronunciation: /rɪˈzɪl.jəns/
   Sentence: Resilience enables individuals to recover quickly from setbacks and challenges.

Advanced Grammar Structures

1. Complex Sentences
   • Example: “While strict control and free experimentation have their own advantages and drawbacks, neither approach is wholly sufficient on its own.”
   • This structure enables nuanced comparisons, which are critical for higher band scores.
2. Passive Voice
   • Example: “Children raised in overly controlled environments might struggle to think independently.”
   • Passive voice emphasizes the subject being acted upon, adding variety to sentence construction.
3. Conditional Sentences
   • Example: “If left unchecked, children may engage in risky behavior.”
   • Conditional sentences demonstrate logical reasoning, a key aspect of task achievement.
4. Nominalization
   • Example: “The regulation of behavior ensures discipline.”
   • Nominalizations like “regulation” contribute to the formal tone required for academic writing.
5. Parallel Structures
   • Example: “This balance allows them to cultivate discipline and creativity simultaneously.”
   • Parallelism ensures clarity and rhythm, enhancing readability.

Writing Format and Features for Band 9

1. Clear Structure: The essay adheres to a four-paragraph format with a logical introduction, discussion of both perspectives, and a balanced conclusion.
2. Task Achievement: All parts of the task are addressed comprehensively with relevant examples.
3. Cohesion and Coherence: Effective use of cohesive devices such as “however,” “on the one hand,” and “for instance” ensures smooth progression of ideas.
4. Lexical Resource: A wide range of academic vocabulary is used accurately and effectively, with no repetition or misuse.
5. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Complex and varied sentence structures are employed without errors, showcasing grammatical proficiency.

This format, combined with advanced vocabulary and grammar, exemplifies the precision and sophistication required for a Band 9 essay.

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