IELTS Band 9 Essay About a high proportion of criminal acts are performed by teenagers
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “a high proportion of criminal acts are performed by teenagers”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 150 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.
Brief Explanation about a high proportion of criminal acts are performed by teenagers
The prevalence of teenage crime is a concerning issue in some countries. Several factors contribute to this phenomenon, including family dysfunction, lack of education, and peer pressure. Economic disparities and limited access to recreational activities can also push teenagers toward criminal activities. Additionally, the influence of media and social environments may normalize antisocial behavior. To address this, governments and communities must implement measures such as educational programs, mentorship initiatives, and stricter law enforcement. Creating opportunities for skill development and fostering supportive environments can help teenagers channel their energy into positive pursuits, reducing their involvement in criminal acts.
Sample Band 9 Essay
In some countries a high proportion of criminal acts are performed by teenagers.
Why is the case?
What can be done about it?
In certain countries, the high proportion of criminal acts committed by teenagers is an alarming trend that demands immediate attention. This essay will explore the underlying reasons for this phenomenon and suggest feasible solutions to mitigate it.
One primary cause of teenage crime is socioeconomic inequality. Adolescents from economically disadvantaged backgrounds often lack access to quality education and recreational facilities, which leaves them vulnerable to negative influences. For instance, marginalized teenagers may resort to theft or vandalism as a means of expressing frustration or fulfilling unmet needs. Furthermore, broken family structures and inadequate parental supervision contribute significantly to juvenile delinquency. Without proper guidance, teenagers may seek acceptance from peer groups that encourage criminal behavior.
Another contributing factor is the normalization of violence through media and social platforms. Movies, video games, and online content sometimes glorify criminal acts, desensitizing teenagers to their consequences. Coupled with the lack of emotional regulation skills, these influences can exacerbate impulsive decision-making. Moreover, inadequate law enforcement and lenient punishments may fail to deter teenagers from engaging in unlawful activities.
To address this issue, governments and communities must adopt a multifaceted approach. Proactive intervention through educational programs that emphasize moral values, critical thinking, and conflict resolution is essential. Schools should incorporate extracurricular activities to engage teenagers in constructive pursuits. Additionally, mentorship initiatives can provide role models who inspire positive behavior. Governments should also focus on reducing socioeconomic disparities by investing in low-income neighborhoods and creating employment opportunities for youth.
Another effective solution is the implementation of community-based rehabilitation programs. These initiatives can help teenagers reintegrate into society by addressing the root causes of their behavior. For example, counseling sessions and skill-building workshops can empower adolescents to make informed decisions. Simultaneously, stricter enforcement of laws targeting juvenile offenses may act as a deterrent while ensuring accountability.
In conclusion, teenage involvement in crime stems from a combination of socioeconomic, familial, and media-related factors. Addressing these root causes through education, mentorship, and rehabilitation is vital. By fostering an environment that promotes positive growth and addressing inequalities, society can significantly reduce the prevalence of teenage crime.
Academic Vocabulary in the sample of a high proportion of criminal acts are performed by teenagers
- Socioeconomic inequality /ˌsəʊsiəʊˌekəˈnɒmɪk ˌɪnɪˈkwɒləti/
Sentence: Socioeconomic inequality often results in limited access to education for disadvantaged communities. - Marginalized /ˈmɑːdʒɪnəlaɪzd/
Sentence: Marginalized groups frequently face systemic barriers to social and economic opportunities. - Normalization /ˌnɔːməlaɪˈzeɪʃən/
Sentence: The normalization of aggressive behavior can negatively impact young audiences. - Proactive intervention /prəʊˈæktɪv ˌɪntəˈvenʃən/
Sentence: Proactive intervention in education can prevent future criminal behavior among teenagers. - Community-based rehabilitation /kəˈmjuːnɪti beɪst ˌriːhəˌbɪlɪˈteɪʃən/
Sentence: Community-based rehabilitation programs focus on reintegrating offenders into society.
Advanced Grammar Structures
- Complex Sentences
Example: “Adolescents from economically disadvantaged backgrounds often lack access to quality education and recreational facilities, which leaves them vulnerable to negative influences.”
This structure combines multiple ideas into a cohesive argument, showing depth of reasoning. - Passive Voice
Example: “Movies, video games, and online content sometimes glorify criminal acts, desensitizing teenagers to their consequences.”
Passive voice shifts the focus to the impact rather than the agent, adding a formal tone. - Conditional Sentences
Example: “If governments invest in low-income neighborhoods, the likelihood of teenage crime can decrease.”
Conditional sentences present hypothetical solutions effectively, adding depth to the analysis. - Nominalization
Example: “The normalization of violence through media and social platforms exacerbates impulsive decision-making.”
Using nominal forms like “normalization” and “decision-making” adds academic formality and conciseness. - Parallel Structures
Example: “Counseling sessions and skill-building workshops can empower adolescents to make informed decisions.”
Parallelism ensures clarity and balance in presenting ideas, improving readability.
Format and Band 9 Features
- Clear Structure
The essay follows a four-paragraph structure: introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion. Each section is focused and logically connected. - Sophisticated Vocabulary
The use of academic vocabulary (e.g., socioeconomic inequality, rehabilitation) demonstrates lexical resource, essential for Band 9. - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay employs diverse grammatical structures, such as conditionals, passive voice, and nominalizations, showcasing versatility and precision. - Cohesion and Coherence
Logical transitions (e.g., “Furthermore,” “Moreover,” “In conclusion”) ensure a smooth flow of ideas, enhancing readability. - Task Achievement
The essay fully addresses the question, providing a balanced discussion of causes and solutions with specific examples and a clear stance.
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