IELTS Band 9 Essay About
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “A growing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery “. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in March 2025.
Sample Essay (Band 9)
A growing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery. Why is this the case? What are the negative or positive developments?
In recent years, an increasing number of individuals have opted for cosmetic surgery to enhance their physical appearance. This phenomenon can be attributed to several factors, and while it has both positive and negative implications, the latter may outweigh the former in some cases.
One primary reason for the growing popularity of aesthetic procedures is the influence of media and societal norms. The pervasive nature of social media platforms has established unrealistic beauty standards, compelling individuals to alter their appearances in pursuit of perfection. Celebrities and influencers often showcase surgically enhanced features, which can lead to heightened self-consciousness among the general public. Additionally, advancements in medical technology have made cosmetic procedures safer, more affordable, and less invasive, thereby increasing their accessibility.
From a positive perspective, cosmetic surgery can bolster an individual’s self-esteem and psychological well-being. Those who suffer from congenital deformities or injuries may greatly benefit from reconstructive procedures, allowing them to regain confidence and lead a more fulfilling life. Furthermore, in certain professions—such as modeling or acting—one’s appearance plays a crucial role in career success, making these procedures a strategic investment rather than a mere vanity-driven choice.
However, the negative ramifications of cosmetic surgery should not be overlooked. Firstly, the commercialization of beauty has led to an unhealthy obsession with physical perfection, which may exacerbate mental health issues such as body dysmorphia. Secondly, despite technological advancements, cosmetic procedures still carry risks, including surgical complications, infections, and unsatisfactory results, which may necessitate further corrective surgeries. Additionally, excessive reliance on such procedures can foster a culture of superficiality, where personal worth is judged primarily on physical attributes rather than character or abilities.
In conclusion, while cosmetic surgery offers certain benefits, including enhanced self-confidence and professional opportunities, its drawbacks—such as psychological distress, health risks, and societal superficiality—cannot be ignored. It is essential for individuals to weigh the long-term consequences before undergoing such procedures and for society to promote more inclusive definitions of beauty.
Five Academic Words in the sample for A growing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery
Pervasive (/pərˈveɪ.sɪv/)
The pervasive influence of social media has reshaped beauty standards worldwide.
Bolster (/ˈboʊl.stɚ/)
Engaging in positive self-affirmations can bolster an individual’s confidence.
Ramifications (/ˌræm.ɪ.fɪˈkeɪ.ʃənz/)
The ramifications of excessive reliance on cosmetic procedures can be severe.
Commercialization (/kəˌmɝː.ʃəl.ɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/)
The commercialization of beauty has led to increased demand for aesthetic treatments.
Inclusive (/ɪnˈkluː.sɪv/)
Society should embrace a more inclusive perception of beauty that values diversity.
Five Advanced Grammatical Structures and Their Impact
Cleft Sentence (“One primary reason… is”)
The structure “One primary reason for the growing popularity of aesthetic procedures is the influence of media and societal norms.” emphasizes the cause explicitly, making the argument more impactful and clear.
Reduced Relative Clause (“Those who suffer from congenital deformities…”)
The phrase “Those who suffer from congenital deformities or injuries may greatly benefit from reconstructive procedures” removes the relative pronoun “who” in some places for conciseness, enhancing fluency.
Parallelism (“psychological distress, health risks, and societal superficiality”)
The use of three nouns in parallel structure strengthens the argument by presenting multiple negative aspects in a balanced and rhythmically appealing way.
Complex Sentence with a Subordinate Clause (“While cosmetic surgery offers certain benefits, its drawbacks… cannot be ignored.”)
The contrastive clause at the beginning highlights the nuanced view of the topic, which is a characteristic of high-scoring essays.
Passive Voice (“can be attributed to several factors”)
The use of passive voice shifts the focus from the doer of the action to the phenomenon itself, creating a more formal and objective tone.
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