IELTS Band 9 Essay About These days people spend a lot of money on their appearance beauty
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “These days people spend a lot of money on their appearance beauty”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in 2025.
Sample Answer (Band 9)
These days people spend a lot of money on their appearance beauty.
Why do people do this?
Is it a positive or negative development?
In contemporary society, the emphasis on appearance and beauty has surged significantly, leading individuals to allocate substantial amounts of their income towards enhancing their looks. This phenomenon can be attributed to several factors, which may ultimately lead to both positive and negative outcomes.
Firstly, the pervasive influence of media and advertising plays a pivotal role in shaping societal norms regarding beauty. Social media platforms inundate users with images of idealized appearances, promoting a narrow definition of beauty that is often unattainable. As a result, individuals feel compelled to conform to these standards, leading to increased spending on cosmetic products, aesthetic procedures, and fashion. This desire for acceptance and approval can be particularly pronounced among younger generations, who are more susceptible to peer pressure.
Secondly, the notion that physical attractiveness correlates with success is deeply ingrained in many cultures. Numerous studies have indicated that attractive individuals tend to receive more job opportunities, higher salaries, and even favorable treatment in social situations. Consequently, people may view investing in their appearance as a strategic decision to enhance their professional and social prospects. This mindset can create a vicious cycle, where individuals continually seek to improve their looks to remain competitive.
However, while striving for beauty can yield some benefits, it is imperative to recognize the negative ramifications of this obsession. The relentless pursuit of an idealized appearance can lead to mental health issues, including anxiety and low self-esteem. Individuals may become overly critical of themselves and develop unhealthy relationships with their bodies, ultimately leading to conditions such as body dysmorphia. Furthermore, the financial burden of maintaining such standards can result in significant economic strain, diverting resources from more essential needs.
In conclusion, while the trend of spending on beauty reflects a desire for social acceptance and potential economic advantages, it is essential to consider the adverse effects that can arise from this obsession. Balancing the pursuit of beauty with a focus on inner qualities and self-acceptance may foster a healthier societal outlook. Ultimately, the impact of this phenomenon can be both positive and negative, and it is crucial for individuals to navigate this landscape thoughtfully.
5 Academic Words in the sample for These days people spend a lot of money on their appearance beauty
Appearance (əˈpɪərəns)
- Sentence: The appearance of the building was enhanced by the recent renovations.
Media (ˈmiːdiə)
- Sentence: The media often shapes public opinion on various issues.
Idealized (aɪˈdɪəlaɪzd)
- Sentence: The film presented an idealized version of life in the countryside.
Peer pressure (pɪr ˈprɛʃər)
- Sentence: Peer pressure can have a significant impact on adolescent behavior.
Mental health (ˈmɛntəl hɛlθ)
- Sentence: It is important to prioritize mental health alongside physical well-being.
5 Advanced Grammar Structures and How They Enhance the Essay
Complex Sentences: The use of complex sentences, such as “While striving for beauty can yield some benefits, it is imperative to recognize the negative ramifications of this obsession,” demonstrates a higher level of language proficiency. This structure allows for nuanced arguments and connections between ideas.
Passive Voice: The phrase “is often unattainable” employs the passive voice to emphasize the condition rather than the subject. This technique adds variety to sentence structure and highlights the focus on societal pressures.
Conditional Clauses: The sentence “If individuals continually seek to improve their looks, they may develop unhealthy relationships with their bodies” uses a conditional clause to express potential consequences. This showcases the writer’s ability to discuss hypothetical situations.
Gerund Phrases: The use of gerund phrases, such as “striving for beauty,” provides variety in sentence construction and demonstrates an understanding of how different forms can enhance clarity and flow.
Transitional Phrases: Phrases like “in conclusion” and “however” guide the reader through the argument, indicating shifts in perspective. This helps create a cohesive essay structure, which is crucial for achieving a higher band score.
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