IELTS Band 9 Essay About Many young people today spend too much time following fashion
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Many young people today spend too much time following fashion”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in 2025.
Sample IELTS Writing Task 2 Response (Band 9)
Many young people today spend too much time following the latest fashion trends in areas such as clothing and technology.
Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?
In contemporary society, it is undeniable that many young people are increasingly preoccupied with following the latest fashion trends, particularly in clothing and technology. While this phenomenon can lead to certain advantages, such as fostering creativity and self-expression, it also presents significant drawbacks, including financial strain and a superficial understanding of personal identity. This essay will argue that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.
On one hand, the engagement with fashion trends can stimulate creativity among young individuals. By experimenting with different styles and technologies, they can develop a unique sense of identity. This exploration often encourages self-expression, allowing them to communicate their personality through their choices. For instance, many young people use fashion as a tool to convey their beliefs or cultural backgrounds, which can enhance their confidence and sense of belonging. Moreover, the fashion industry itself thrives on innovation, and young consumers play a pivotal role in driving this progress.
However, the drawbacks of this obsession cannot be overlooked. Firstly, the relentless pursuit of the latest trends often leads to financial strain. Many young individuals feel pressured to spend beyond their means to keep up with peers, resulting in debt or financial instability. Additionally, this trend fosters a culture of materialism, where personal worth is equated with possessions rather than intrinsic qualities. Consequently, young people may develop a superficial understanding of identity, prioritizing appearance over character and values.
Furthermore, the constant exposure to ever-changing trends can lead to psychological issues such as anxiety and low self-esteem. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can create a sense of inadequacy among those who cannot afford the latest items or who choose not to participate in these trends. This can result in feelings of isolation and diminished self-worth, which are detrimental to mental health.
In conclusion, while following fashion trends can offer some benefits in terms of creativity and self-expression, the drawbacks—financial strain, materialism, and psychological distress—are more significant. Therefore, it is crucial for young people to cultivate a balanced perspective on fashion, recognizing that true identity and self-worth extend beyond mere appearances.
Five Academic Words in the sample for Many young people today spend too much time following fashion
1. Fashion [ˈfæʃ.ən]
• Example: The fashion industry is constantly evolving with new trends each season.
2. Advantages [ədˈvæn.tɪ.dʒɪz]
• Example: The advantages of studying abroad include exposure to diverse cultures and educational systems.
3. Drawbacks [ˈdrɔː.bæks]
• Example: One of the major drawbacks of urban living is the high cost of housing.
4. Strain [streɪn]
• Example: The strain of balancing work and study can be overwhelming for many students.
5. Superficial [ˌsuː.pəˈfɪʃ.əl]
• Example: Superficial relationships often lack depth and emotional connection.
Five Advanced Grammar Structures:
1. Complex Sentences: The use of complex sentences (e.g., “While this phenomenon can lead to certain advantages…”) allows for nuanced expression of ideas, demonstrating a higher level of grammatical proficiency.
2. Conditional Clauses: Phrases like “if young individuals feel pressured” illustrate hypothetical scenarios, showcasing the ability to discuss potential outcomes.
3. Passive Voice: The phrase “the fashion industry thrives on innovation” emphasizes the action rather than the subject, which is common in academic writing and adds variety to sentence structure.
4. Cohesive Devices: Words like “however” and “moreover” improve coherence and cohesion within the essay, guiding the reader through the argument effectively.
5. Subjunctive Mood: The use of subjunctive structures (e.g., “it is crucial that young people cultivate…”) conveys necessity and formality, enhancing the sophistication of the argument.
These advanced grammatical structures contribute to achieving a higher band score by demonstrating linguistic flexibility and depth in argumentation, essential criteria for IELTS writing assessment.
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