IELTS Band 9 Essay About doctors are concerned that older adults are not getting enough exercise
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “Doctors are concerned that older adults are not getting enough exercise. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 200 band 9 IELTS samples released in 2025.
Sample Essay (Band 9)
Doctors are concerned that older adults are not getting enough exercise.
What are the causes of this?
What can be done to prevent it?
The lack of physical activity among older adults has become a growing concern for healthcare professionals. This trend is attributable to several factors, including physical limitations, psychological barriers, and societal influences. However, with targeted interventions, this issue can be effectively addressed.
One of the primary causes of sedentary lifestyles among older adults is the physical decline associated with aging. As people grow older, they often experience chronic health conditions such as arthritis or cardiovascular diseases, which can make exercise painful or risky. Additionally, reduced mobility and muscle strength can discourage them from engaging in physical activities. Psychological factors also play a significant role. Many older individuals fear injury or believe they are too old to benefit from exercise, leading to a lack of motivation. Furthermore, societal attitudes often marginalize the elderly, creating environments that are not conducive to their active participation. For instance, public spaces and fitness programs are often designed with younger populations in mind, making older adults feel excluded.
To tackle this issue, a multifaceted approach is necessary. Firstly, healthcare providers should educate older adults about the benefits of regular exercise, such as improved mobility, mental health, and overall quality of life. Tailored exercise programs that account for physical limitations should be made accessible and affordable. For example, low-impact activities like swimming or yoga can be highly effective for this demographic. Secondly, governments and communities should invest in age-friendly infrastructure, such as parks with walking paths and benches, to encourage outdoor activities. Lastly, family members can play a crucial role by providing emotional support and participating in physical activities with their older relatives.
In conclusion, while the lack of exercise among older adults is a complex issue, it is not insurmountable. By addressing the physical, psychological, and societal barriers, we can create an environment that promotes active aging and improves the well-being of older individuals.
Academic Vocabulary in the sample for Doctors are concerned that older adults are not getting enough exercise
- Attributable /əˈtrɪbjʊtəbl/
- The rise in obesity is largely attributable to unhealthy eating habits.
- Sedentary /ˈsɛdənˌtɛri/
- A sedentary lifestyle is a major risk factor for many chronic diseases.
- Chronic /ˈkrɒnɪk/
- Diabetes is a chronic condition that requires lifelong management.
- Marginalize /ˈmɑːrdʒɪnəˌlaɪz/
- Some policies unintentionally marginalize vulnerable groups in society.
- Multifaceted /ˌmʌltiˈfæsɪtɪd/
- Solving climate change requires a multifaceted approach involving governments, businesses, and individuals.
Advanced Grammar Structures and Their Contribution to a Higher Band Score:
- Complex Sentences with Subordinate Clauses:
- “As people grow older, they often experience chronic health conditions, which can make exercise painful or risky.”
- This structure allows for the inclusion of detailed explanations, enhancing the depth of the argument.
- Passive Voice:
- “Tailored exercise programs should be made accessible and affordable.”
- The passive voice adds formality and shifts the focus to the action rather than the subject, which is useful for academic writing.
- Conditional Sentences (First Conditional):
- “If older adults are educated about the benefits of exercise, they are more likely to participate.”
- This structure demonstrates the ability to discuss cause-and-effect relationships, which is essential for higher band scores.
- Relative Clauses:
- “Public spaces, which are often designed for younger populations, can exclude older adults.”
- Relative clauses provide additional information without creating separate sentences, improving coherence and flow.
- Gerunds as Subjects:
- “Encouraging physical activity among older adults requires a community effort.”
- Using gerunds as subjects adds variety to sentence structures and makes the writing more sophisticated.
These advanced grammatical structures enhance the clarity, coherence, and sophistication of the essay, contributing to a higher band score.
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