IELTS Band 9 Essay About most high-level positions in companies are filled by men
Here we take a look at a band 9 ielts writing task 2 sample about “most high-level positions in companies are filled by men”. This sample then will be further analyzed for its vocabulary, grammar and format, so we see how it has qualified for such band score. We also suggest over 100 band 9 IELTS sample released in 2024.
Introduction to most high-level positions in companies are filled by men
Gender disparity in high-level corporate positions remains a contentious issue, even in developed nations where women make up over half the workforce. Advocates argue that mandating a percentage of leadership roles for women is essential for achieving workplace equity and tapping into a diverse talent pool. Critics, however, contend that such quotas may undermine meritocracy, leading to tokenism rather than genuine inclusion. Striking a balance between fairness and capability assessment is key to addressing this imbalance. Ultimately, ensuring equitable opportunities and creating supportive environments for women in leadership is vital for fostering both innovation and organizational success.
Band 9 Sample Essay
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men, even though in many developed countries the workforce is over 50 percent. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.
To what extent do you agree?
The underrepresentation of women in senior positions within companies has been a persistent issue, despite women constituting more than half of the workforce in many advanced economies. Some propose that enforcing quotas to allocate a specific percentage of leadership roles to women would redress this imbalance. While I partially support this idea, I believe it must be complemented by broader systemic changes to be truly effective.
Firstly, quotas can serve as a catalyst for gender equality by compelling companies to address the implicit biases that often hinder women’s advancement. Numerous studies highlight how gender stereotypes influence hiring and promotion decisions, leaving capable women overlooked. By implementing quotas, organizations are encouraged to identify and nurture talented women, thus ensuring a more equitable representation at the top. For example, Norway’s legislation requiring corporate boards to consist of at least 40% women has resulted in significantly improved gender diversity.
However, it is equally important to recognize the limitations of quotas. Mandating representation without addressing the root causes of inequality risks fostering resentment or tokenism. Critics argue that quotas could prioritize gender over merit, potentially undermining the credibility of women who achieve these roles. To mitigate this, quotas should be coupled with initiatives such as mentorship programs, leadership training, and family-friendly workplace policies that enable women to thrive in their careers.
Moreover, companies must promote a cultural shift that values diversity and inclusion beyond compliance. This entails challenging traditional notions of leadership and encouraging male allies to advocate for equality. A holistic approach would not only benefit women but also enhance organizational performance. Research consistently shows that diverse leadership teams are more innovative and make better decisions, driving long-term success.
In conclusion, while mandatory quotas represent an essential step towards addressing gender disparities in leadership, they should not be viewed as a standalone solution. A multifaceted strategy that combines quotas with systemic reforms is crucial to fostering an environment where both men and women can excel based on merit. Only by tackling structural barriers and societal attitudes can true gender equity be achieved.
Academic Words in the sample for most high-level positions in companies are filled by men
- Underrepresentation /ˌʌn.də.rɛp.rɪˌzɛnˈteɪ.ʃən/
Sentence: The underrepresentation of women in tech industries is a global concern. - Catalyst /ˈkæt.ə.lɪst/
Sentence: The new policy acted as a catalyst for improved employee productivity. - Implicit /ɪmˈplɪs.ɪt/
Sentence: Managers must be aware of their implicit biases when evaluating candidates. - Tokenism /ˈtəʊ.kəˌnɪz.əm/
Sentence: Critics argue that tokenism undermines the achievements of underrepresented groups. - Holistic /həˈlɪs.tɪk/
Sentence: A holistic approach to education considers both academic and emotional development.
Advanced Grammar Structures (5 Examples)
- Complex Sentences with Subordinate Clauses
Example: “While mandatory quotas represent an essential step towards addressing gender disparities in leadership, they should not be viewed as a standalone solution.”- Contribution: Adds depth by linking contrasting ideas, demonstrating nuanced reasoning.
- Passive Voice for Formality
Example: “Gender stereotypes influence hiring and promotion decisions, leaving capable women overlooked.”- Contribution: Enhances formality and shifts focus to the issue rather than the agent.
- Nominalization
Example: “Promoting a cultural shift that values diversity is essential.”- Contribution: Creates a formal tone by turning actions into abstract concepts.
- Conditional Sentences
Example: “If companies fail to address systemic issues, gender quotas alone will not suffice.”- Contribution: Adds hypothetical reasoning, showing consideration of possible outcomes.
- Parallel Structures
Example: “By implementing quotas, organizations are encouraged to identify and nurture talented women, thus ensuring a more equitable representation at the top.”- Contribution: Improves clarity and rhythm, enhancing readability.
Writing Format and Features for Band 9
- Clear Structure: The essay follows a four-paragraph structure with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph develops a single idea logically.
- Balanced Argument: Both sides of the argument are addressed, showcasing critical thinking and impartiality.
- Academic Tone: The use of formal language, academic vocabulary, and complex sentence structures reflects a high level of proficiency.
- Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas flow seamlessly, aided by cohesive devices such as “Firstly,” “However,” and “Moreover.”
- Specific Examples: Real-world examples like Norway’s gender quota law illustrate points effectively, adding credibility.
By adhering to these elements, the essay demonstrates the sophistication and depth required for a Band 9.
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