نمونه رایتینگ Task 2 آیلتس با نمره 8

نمونه رایتینگ Task 2 آیلتس با نمره 8

نمونه رایتینگ Task 2 آیلتس با نمره 8

نمونه رایتینگ Task 2 آیلتس با نمره 8

در اینجا یک نمونه رایتینگ تسک 2 آیلتس در سطح نمره 8 به همراه توضیح اگزمینر را مشاهده میفرمایید. منبع این رایتینگ در پایان آورده شده. در آینده نمونه های بیشتری از این رایتینگ ها در این صفحه افزوده خواهد شد.

منبع: وبسایت ielts-blog.com

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برای دیدن تمامی نمونه های نوشته شده در سطح نمره 7، 8 و 9 این لینک را دنبال بفرمایید:

سمپل های تسک 1 و 2 رایتینگ آیلتس

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همچنین میتوانید مجموعه نمونه و سمپل رایتینگ های نوشته شده توسط مدرس آیلتس با نمره 8 رایتینگ آکادمیک(مهندس ابوالقاسمی) را که برای زبان آموزان در سطح نمره 6.5، 7 و 8 نوشته شده در این نشانی بیابید:

https://ielts2.com/category/نمونه-رایتینگ-های-آیلتس-نمره-7

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School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that educators have greater responsibility developing students’ cognitive and social aspects compared to parents. I absolutely agree with this notion, as teachers are well-trained to teach formal lessons. Aside from that, school is the best place for children to socialize and .

It is known for a fact that parents play a vital role in the upbringing of their . Nevertheless, educating them at home alone does not always mean leading them to a bright future. For this reason, it is extremely important that children be given a formal education. This is when school teachers come into play. Apart from providing a conducive learning environment, most schools constantly update their faculty with various contemporary methods of teaching through seminars and trainings. This approach has long been practiced in order to ensure students can cope with technological advancements. Furthermore, practical exercises and laboratory experiments significantly help increase their problem-solving, logical thinking, and reasoning abilities.

With regard to social aspect, it is also at school where youngsters learn to interact with peers. Apart from their daily classroom interactions, varied extracurricular activities are likewise offered to them, depending on their interests. These can be scouting, sporting events, and other , just to name a few. These opportunities basically enhance leadership skills, camaraderie, and teamwork, may not be acquired at home alone. It is, therefore, not surprising that majority of friendships emanate from schools.

By and large, I strongly believe that when it comes to honing the overall academic and social skills of the youth, mentors have a more crucial role than parents. It is because they are professionally trained in performing so.

Examiner’s comment:

This essay seems worthy of Band 8. It would get a high Task Response score because all parts of the topic have been addressed – body paragraph 1 is on intellectual development and body paragraph 2 talks about the social development of students. The author organised information well, and used examples to support his/her points. The overall cohesion and coherence are achieved through skillful use of linking words and expressions. In terms of lexical resource and grammar there are some minor issues, however, they shouldn’t affect the score much. Well done!

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for
‘form new friendships’ is a better way to say this
‘offspring’ doesn’t have a plural form
‘that’ isn’t needed in this sentence
the writer means ‘activities’
‘all of which’ should be used here instead

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IELTS essay, topic: The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

Posted: 04 Jul 2018 08:34 PM PDT

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It is true that nowadays people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.

There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above. Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of senior citizens.

In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.

This essay covers the task requirements, however some problems of aging population get only a brief mention. The linking of sentences in the second body paragraph is somewhat ‘mechanical’ and could have been improved. Information sequencing and organisation in paragraphs are done well. The range of vocabulary and the fluency of its use, as well as lack of errors are impressive. Overall, this is a good example of how to get Band 8 without writing a very long essay.

منبع: ielts-blog.com

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تعیین نمره اسپیکینگ شما توسط استاد با نمره 8.5 در کانال تلگرام @ielts2com

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