نمونه رایتینگ ساده Stay in Company Many Years Move Every Few Years
تمامی منابع سایت به همراه هزاران کتاب دیگر در بزرگترین کانال های دانلود زبان انگلیسی و آیلتس در تلگرام با نشانی (https://t.me/ielts2official) و (https://t.me/ielts2download) در دسترس شما عزیزان می باشد.
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در اینجا یک نمونه تاپیک رایتینگ شده به همراه پاسخ با فرمت استاندارد و مناسب به عنوان راهنما برای علاقمندان تنظیم شده است. ساختارهای دستوری و ترکیب واژگان بدون اشکال و کاملا درست هستند و میتوانند به عنوان الگو مورد استفاده قرار بگیرند. این نمونه توسط مدرس آیلتس با نمره 8 رایتینگ تنظیم شده است.
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Some people prefer to move from one company to another every several years. Others think it is better to stay in one company for a long time.
Discuss both of these views.
Some people believe it is better to change their workplace every several years. First of all, this way it is possible to meet new people and make more friends. When someone enters a new place, almost everyone is new for him and this gives an opportunity to him or her to make many friends. Knowing new people is important especially at workplace and all successful people know many people. Secondly, these people will have the opportunity to learn much more about their field of work. When a new employee moves to a new place, he or she can meet new experts who are better at the same work to learn a lot from them. (114 words)
Others, however, believe that it is more beneficial to stay in a company for many years. First of all, it will be possible to make more progress at work. In almost all companies, people who have more years of service, have a better chance for promotion and going to next level in their career. Secondly, they can have a higher income because again it is a rule around a world that older staff in most companies and factories receive a higher salary. By working in a company and not changing the workplace, they can increase their monthly income and have a better life. (103 words)
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7 پاسخ
جلسه 5 رايتينگ
ترم تابستان 01
Some people have a performance to change their workplace every several years. First of all, when you enter a new environment, almost everyone is the latest for them, they can have a unique experience in their job fields like meeting new people which means new chances for making friendly relations. Secondly, moving to a new workplace will have further information about the atmosphere or different types of machinery they can learn and work with there. Working with the new machine needs training, such as a new version of equipment in the factory, which can improve your experience and it is caused increase your income. (104 words)
On the other hand, others believe that staying in a company for many years is more beneficial. First of all, it will make more advance at work. In almost all firms, people with more years of service have a better promotion opportunity and go to the next level in their position. Secondly, they can have higher wages because it is a habit around the world that the older worker or staff in most companies and factories receive a higher salary. By working in a company and not changing the workplace, they show their loyalty to the company, and it can increase their monthly income and have a better life. (111 words)
#feedback
✍️ خطای اول
این ساختار Some people have a performance to change their workplace بی معنی هست. تک تک ساختارهایی که استفاده میکنید باید حتما در لانگمن وجود داشته باشند.
✍️ خطای دوم
این مورد everyone is the latest for them, هم تکرار خطای قبلی و بی معنی هست.
✍️ خطای سوم
در اینجا for them, they can آغاز و پایان جمله ها باید مشخص باشد یا با حروف ربط مناسب به هم متصل شده باشند. https://ielts2.com/حروف-ربط-علت-و-معلول-و-تضاد-در-انگلیسی/
✍️ خطای چهارم
این مورد in their job fields باید به صورت in their fields نوشته شود.
✍️ خطای پنجم
این ساختار machinery they can learn and work with there. بی معنی هست. باید بنویسید machinery they can learn and work with مبحث موصولی ها را با دقت مطالعه بفرمایید. فهرست خطاهای متداول شماره 10 را ببینید. https://ielts2.com/متداول-ترین-خطاهای-گرامری-زبان-آموزان/
✍️ خطای ششم
این ساختار it is caused increase your income. هم بی معنی هست. فهرست خطاهای متداول شماره 22 را ببینید. https://ielts2.com/متداول-ترین-خطاهای-گرامری-زبان-آموزان/
✍️ خطای هفتم
این مورد it will make more advance at work. هم تکرار خطای اول هست و چنین ساختاری در زبان انگلیسی وجود ندارد.
✍️ خطای هشتم
این مورد it is a habit around the world that گرچه از نظر لغوی درست نوشته نشده و نادرست است از نظر ایده از روی سمپل نوشته شده. دقت بفرمایید نهایت تلاش را داشته باشید تا ایده های شما از سمپل نباشد.
✅ فرمت کلی رایتینگ و پاراگراف بندی خوب هست. ایده های اصلی و ساپورت ها هم به خوبی نوشته شده.
❌ تعداد ساختارهای دستوری نادرست بسیار بالاست. تک تک جمله هایی که مینویسید باید در دیکشنری لانگمن به همین شکل وجود داشته باشد. در صورت نیاز حتما پرسش کنید.
💐 در صورتیکه هر بخش از این فیدبک برای شما نامشخص هست حتما به صورت خصوصی در تلگرام یا در صفحه کلاس در سایت در مورد بخش مربوطه پرسش بفرمایید.
#4
Collocation: provide
The hotel provides a pool service for guests.
Sport provides a chance for you to get outside with friends.
The school aims to provide an excellent general education.
The research provides some support for this view.
A booklet provides information about local education service.
If people work in one company they do not have stress in their mind.
ایا ترکیب درستی است؟
بد نیست اما have stress in their mind به نظر ترجمه فارسی هست. منبعی براش دارید؟؟؟
Some people prefer to move from one company to another every several years. First of all, they can have new experience about everything that is related to their work like meeting new people which means new opportunity for making friendly relations with new co workers and getting to know new workplace can be exciting for them. Secondly, they have chance for learning more about work and life. Actually moving to new workplace will have new information about environment or maybe a different language that they can learn and also they will have new perspective at work. (Words=96)
Others, although, think it is better to stay in a company for many years. First of all, it’s possible to make intimate friends. Actually working and spending time with colleagues in same company for many years will build deep friendships and it’s more fun to work with close friends. Secondly, this is can be more convenience for working. People usually get used to one place after a while and it’s a bit difficult for them to break their habits. So it’s easier for them to staying in one place that they used to. Also, people have this opportunity to get promotions in a company after a while which means more income and easier life. (Words=116)
Big city #more jobs #education
Small town #less expensive #less crime
Some people believe a big city is better than a small town. First all of, there are many jobs in big cities. Approximately 50 percent of city’s population can find job every covenience. Company directors employ over thousands people for working and employee’s average monthly earnings is more in such places. Secondly people who live in large modern cities can get a good education. Children learn diffrent rates and It is easier to access to the education. Education is the cornerstone of progress and road the success so People must better yourself through education. lack of good education is people’s greatest disability
106 words
On the other hand, there are people who think it is better to live in a small town. First all of there is less expensive in small towns. Apartments and houses are cheaper and people have less pressure everyday. Secondly, Somebody prefer to live in a town with relatively low crime rate because the crime rate is on the rise. People move towns because there were very criminals and thiefs so they don’t suffer great losses. The polices don’t guarantee the big city’s safety. some people are shifting to small towns because they want to preserve the security of their life style.
105 words